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At work today, there was a Halloween potluck. Pretty much everyone in my department participated, bringing food, drinks, and whatnot. When the clock hit 12:00pm, the entire office stampeded towards the large conference room loaded with employee-made foodstuffs. I, however, did not participate. I humbly clocked out, walked to my car, and drove to Micky D’s (McDonald’s).

I ordered my personal favorite: 20 piece chicken nuggets.

Unhealthy for the body, yet healthy for the soul.

When I returned, my co-workers asked me why I didn’t get food from the potluck. I simply told the truth and answered, “I didn’t want to.”

Now, am I being anti-social? Maybe.

Is there anything wrong with that? Perhaps, by society’s standards.

Do I care? Absolutely not.

In fact, I find that with deviation, there is creation. When in solitude, I find that I’m much more productive and proactive in capturing those elusive moments of creativity.

Right now, I’m sitting in my room, cats beside me, thoughts bouncing around my mind. My roomates are at a school Halloween party. While they invited me to go, I turned them down so that I could write and brainstorm. I plan to work on a second blog, as well as work on recording some music for a cover. Maybe I’ll even get in touch with my friend Serene for some vocal work when it’s done?

There’s numerous things to do, but for now I’ll relax. It’s Friday after all.

So far so good for a productive weekend!

"I guess it's Monday again."

Lately, I realize that I’ve been asphyxiated by life — or more specifically, the hallucinogenic ideologies of success imposed by the pressures of everyday society.

What is success, anyway?

Sometimes I wonder what my real priorities are. I want to follow my passions, but I need to be financially secure.  I find it’s hard to focus on my passions knowing that I live paycheck to paycheck. When I take my lunch, I often pass by others on their lunch. Just by looking at them, I get the feeling that they don’t often have these types of worries. Their clothes, their car, their sleek iPhone 4 — all of these things tell me that they’re doing alright. At the same time, however, I wonder. Are these individuals happy? Did they follow their passions and dreams? Or perhaps they’re simply content with being successful.

I want to be successful. That’s right, I’m not going to lie. I’d love to have the status and material wealth that’s synonymous with being successful. Unfortunately, I’m host to an internal struggle that will not cease. I will not settle for a meaningless job, regardless of the pay. I will follow, explore, and develop my passions. I will make a difference. All this time, I thought I was in need of a way out; an easy exit.

What I really needed, however, was to breathe.